Photo: Ciudadano Poeta

At some stage we all face problems in our relationship. If they go as a far as betraying our spouse, this is a sign that immediate action is required in order to save the relationship. Most of the times we get back on our feet and promise our partner that things will be different this time - that we are changing for the good.

But how can we tell that this change is for real? Is it just a short-term change or will it last? How can we tell that our partner is really changing?

These are some questions that you may keep asking yourself. The following 16 signs will help you to decide if the changes are for real:

1. You notice a different behavior: Inactivity turns into activity, haste turns into calmness, detachment turns into commitment.

2. You will be repeatedly surprised by your partner and might be thinking: “Interesting, this is news for me, but it is just great! I love it, that was an excellent idea”.

3. Your partner is becoming more interested in you and is also actively interested in the evolution of your relationship.

4. You are noticing a major change in your relationship, the rhythm has changed, is not the same anymore, is kind of effortless and without so much stress.

5. The tone of your partner’s voice is changing when he/she is talking to you - it is somehow more affectionate than ever before.

6. All those situations when you feel that you are vulnerable seldom occur and if they do, they are not that intense. Also you now seem to have the ability to go through these times more effectively and rapidly.

7. Your instinct is letting you know that everything is all right. You start to trust your instincts more and more.

8. Your partner seems to have more interests and ideas. Your partner is driven much more by inner needs and desires and not so much by the influence of other people or certain events. He/she is having new passions and hobbies and enjoys his/her job more.

9. The changes appear to be more likely to last. There is more consistency in the relationship, less drifting and it appears that things are more and more on the right path.

10. There is an increased interest for family and good friends.

11. He/she is not saying things like: “I’ll give you my word on…”, “I’ll try…”, “I’m planning to…”.

12. There are no more situations of yelling and crying and other similar things. There are no more excuses and the both of you are doing the best you can to change and improve things.

13. You are not accusing each other anymore. You both agree that you are both responsible for your actions.

14. There is a constant, close and proper eye-contact.

15. Your partner is taking care of his/her well-being, both physically and mentally. You can both express what you need and want and meet halfway. At the same time your own personal desires and needs are also valued.

16. You are no longer worrying that much about the future and what might happen next.

Photo: bored-now

It is no surprise that an affectionate relationship can serve as a constant source of help, passion and pleasure, and we would all prefer to keep such a relationship as long as possible. Therefore, we are making serious efforts to look after it and to make it even better whenever it is possible.

A relationship however can also turn into a constant source of sorrow and agony when the main elements for a happy relationship are totally or partially missing. That is what we call relationship difficulties. If we are having difficulties or facing problems in our relationship, it doesn’t always mean that the relationship is finished.

Some extra effort is required to be able to solve these relationship problems. Some couples are convinced that their problems will suddenly disappear without any effort from their side. They say “sorry” and forgive each other after every fight, but never bother to explore the real motives behind their dispute.

As a result of that, many couples are facing relationship difficulties, some of which are quite easy to solve. However, it is recommended to ask an expert for help, a skilled therapist. A great deal of people are convinced that professional therapy is an excellent way to get their relationship back on its feet.

Professional help also enables couples to see their problems in a new light, often enabling them to find ways to deal with them. Every couple should try to solve their problems the moment they occur and therefore constantly improve their relationship. It is all about trying to find a way to resurrect the love and reignite the flames of passion again.

Relationship problems are part of our daily lives, but what is the cause for these problems? Being affectionate with someone can be a source of satisfaction, comfort and happiness, but at the same time it can also be a source of agony, confusion and desolation. Sometimes we need to be alone and have no desire to be close to others, and might not even want to be close to our loving partner. Without any doubts, this can really damage a relationship.

Unfortunately, we can hardly control this aspect of our relationship as we all have our own difficulties, especially in our jobs. Let’s not forget that there is a big difference between the objectives that we are trying achieve in a job and the ones that we need to achieve in order to maintain a relationship. We should all try to focus on the latter because it will bring us closer to each other and implicitly help us to better deal with our own difficulties.

What are the most common relationship problems? They would be: Reduced communication, almost no ability to face and solve problems, insufficient mutual support and the lack of quality time spent together.

Photo: hubb-a-dubbs

Most of us have been romantically involved with someone, and we know that relationships are all about ups and downs. When it is working out, it is just great and awesome - but when it is not, it is almost like hell.

Being a relationship expert, I have came up with a top 10 list for men and women of what to do and what not to do in a relationship:

MEN

DO

1. Pay attention to your partner, without giving her any advice.

2. Believe in her and value her.

3. Consider her your equal in the relationship.

4. Stand by her whenever she needs you.

5. Treat her like you have treated her in the beginning of your relationship.

6. Little things do make a difference and women really appreciate them.

7. Respect the arrangements that you have made with her.

8. Support her, her ideas and ambitions.

9. Guess what your spouse would love to do and then do it together.

10. Don’t be afraid to apologize when you have done something wrong.

DON’T

1. Go to sleep being mad with your spouse.

2. Offer answers when all she wants from you is some attention.

3. Don’t act as if you were paying attention to her when you were not.

4. Don’t send away your partner when you just need to clear your mind.

5. Pass judgment on to your partner, especially not on how she looks.

6. Shout at your partner as if you were her guardian or something.

7. Take everything seriously. Women sometimes say things they don’t mean.

8. Let jealousy destroy the confidence, affection and respect between you.

9. Invade her personal privacy.

10. Fail to remember the special events.

WOMEN

DO

1. Make the time you spend with your partner as joyful as you can.

2. Believe in him and appreciate him.

3. Don’t harass him.

4. Give him some space and time to spend alone.

5. Value the small things that he does for you.

6. Make love with him imaginatively, dare to take the first step.

7. Respect your common arrangements.

8. Support him, his ideas and ambitions.

9. Make it clear what you really want! He is not a mind reader.

10. Accept his refusal, he is saying NO for a reason.

DON’T

1. Go to sleep being mad with your spouse.

2. Persist that he shares his emotions with you.

3. Try to engage him when he is watching a great match.

4. Point out every irregularity in your relationship.

5. Don’t discourage him.

6. Discipline him as he was a young boy.

7. Use sex as a reward or as a punishment for his behavior.

8. Measure him up to some movie star and point out his flaws.

9. Invade his personal privacy.

10. Try to make him something that he is not.

Men and women are not alike when it comes to communication, wishes and desires. Becoming aware of these differences can help us to create stronger relationships.