Photo: Elliott les yeux grand fermés

What is the secret to a long lasting relationship? This surely is one of the most frequently asked questions. The secret to a durable and successful relationship consists of several small things that we tend to forget or consider to be insignificant. Continue reading for some useful ideas on how to maintain a durable relationship.

1. One of the keys to a long-lasting relationship is to spend some quality time with each other. It is preferable to have a minimum of 30 minutes a night and an entire day a month that you spend just with each other.

2. The last thing that you want in a relationship is to feel vulnerable. In a healthy relationship the partners accept compromises and don’t make each other feel bad if they have a different opinion on something.

3. It is quite common that the things you initially loved in partner can irritate you later on. Find a way to find your partner irresistible, including all the habits that he/she might have. Don’t try to change your partner - after all the habits that now irritate you were part of the reason why you fell in love with your partner.

4. Money is very often the main reason for disputes in a relationship. In order to have a good relationship it is wise to properly deal with your financial situation and even keep a book about your financial spending.

5. Find a way to adequately handle disputes. Be careful with the words that you choose, as you might be reminded about the things that you’ve said later on. Keep in mind that disputes should only have one outcome: To forgive and forget after the fight.

6. Another crucial element of a working relationship is communication. Pay attention to your partner and try not to accuse and judge him/her. Don’t be driven by your emotions, it will not do you any good. Truthful and sincere discussions are the key to a better understanding of the two of you.

7. Deal with the sex problems that you might experience over time, don’t disregard them. Discuss them with your partner as they arise and try to find a way to reignite the flames of love. One of you might like to have sex more than the other! You could try out new things in bed like role plays, dress up in appealing clothes or even have sex in other locations.

8. Maintain a healthy balance between the relationship commitment and your personal freedom. Let your partner know that this personal freedom is important to you, but do not mention it all the time as this can send the wrong signals. Make sure that your partner knows, that by doing things alone or going out by yourself you are not implying that you don’t need your partner.

9. Find a way to forgive and forget. If you find that this is impossible for you, and you are absolutely sure that the trust is gone forever, then let your partner go and have a fresh start with someone else.

10. That fact that you are going to relationship counseling doesn’t mean that your relationship is not working anymore. Such therapy can be a huge benefit for your relationship and considerably improve it. It is a clear sign that you are both really wanting to make your relationship work.

Regardless of whether you are married or just dating, all commitments are equally important and require full devotion from sides. It is a well proven fact that strong and durable relationships are possible. Nobody is saying that everything will always be right, however if you are both committed, the relationship will work. Keep in mind, that most of the time the small things are the important ones, and they will help you enjoy and maintain a long-lasting relationship.

Photo: Rahxy

“I love you” - These are three simple words that can really hit you if they are properly used.

The truth is that some people find it extremely hard to say these words. Some beat around the bush for a while before they will eventually say them. Then there are those who frequently use these words without truly meaning it. In the end it doesn’t really make a difference if you say the magic words or not, what is really important is that the relationship is based on honesty and joy.

So what makes a relationship work and last? There are a three aspects that form the foundation of relationships and make them work (and last), regardless of whether it is between lovers, relatives, colleagues or business associates. When one of these aspects is not in place, the foundation of the relationship will tumble.

The three aspects are called “The Relationship Tripod”. Let’s talk about them for a bit.

The Companionship Aspect

You are certainly well aware that a relationship requires two people in order to be called a relationship. You must have a connection with the other person and enjoy each other’s presence. This is the essence for a long-lasting relationship. It doesn’t make sense to just be together without connecting with each other.

The lack of interest for each other will result in the failure of the relationship. Your partner needs to be aware of how you feel. Show some kindness and warmth, something that truly expresses your love. Regardless of who is giving you affection, you have to give the other person something in return. We all have to play our roles in a relationship, it is a constant give and take.

The Compromise Aspect

As stated above, a relationship is based on constantly giving and taking. We are not all alike, even if two people seem to be strikingly similar, there are probably a few minor differences that might be enough to start a debate about them. You must be a able to settle a dispute, no matter what it is all about, even if this means that you’ll eventually have to give in. Someone has to “win” and someone has to “lose”. It’s that simple and that is why it is crucial to talk about these differences.

But what is the nature of these differences? And who should give in to solve the problems and disputes that they cause? Giving in every now and then doesn’t mean that you are a loser, instead it can be a sign of how significant the relationship is for you. The simple words “You seem to be right” can be very relieving for yourself and for the relationship!

The Communication Aspect

Simply put, when there is no communication, there is no talk about differences, no signs of love and no words to be said. Communication enables us to say the right words at the right time. The first two aspects would not exist if the last one wasn’t there. A slight improvement in communication can greatly contribute to having a better relationship.

There are many simple and small things that can be done to improve the communication, a short letter or a quick email every now and then will do the trick. Don’t overlook the aspect of communication as many relationships drift apart due to the lack of contact between the partners.

Let’s take the case of a long distance relationship as an example. Some of them fail and some of them are success stories, and this is only because of the partner’s contact with each other. Don’t forget that even business partners are maintaining close contact by sending out reports and updates to each other.

Relationships are full of surprises, some of them are pleasant and some of them are not. But that’s how life is, unpredictable and exciting. That’s the beauty of it, to discover life one step at a time. If you are looking for an easy way to make a relationship work and last, you will be disappointed, because there is no such thing. Effort and work is required from everyone who is involved in it.

Photo: nattu

Some people, particularly women, are inclined to ignore their own desires and consider the needs of others to be far more important. We ignore our needs to take care of the ones we love. We fail to understand the significance of being a little bit selfish and thinking about ourselves first. As a matter of fact, we can’t efficiently fulfill someone else’s needs if there is something wrong with our own life. Don’t forget that by caring for yourself you are also well on your way to have better relationships.

Spending the majority of the days ignoring our fundamental needs will soon get back to us and make us feel worn out and weak, unable to properly take care of ourselves. As we reach the conclusion that our needs are not fulfilled, we get bitter, and in the end we will not continue to be helpful and supportive to others as we were before. What we need to do is make ourselves a top priority, this can refill us with energy and power, which we can then pass on to and share with others.

It is not a hard job to properly take care of ourselves, if we consider the upcoming guidelines and tips. When we are satisfied with the amount of care that we direct to ourselves, we will have an excess of power and energy that enables us to fulfill the needs of those who are part of our lives. It is a win-win situation, as long as we are capable of loving ourselves.

Have a healthy life - Are you serious about changing the world, but you can’t even fulfill your own fundamental needs? Have a well balanced diet, get rid of all the junk food, replace it with healthy food and do not forget to consume plenty of water. Provide your body the possibility to burn all the fat through the energy that you accumulate with regular workouts, hence improving your metabolism. It is also important to get your fair share of sleep as we do not perform as well if we are constantly tired and our batteries are low on energy.

Open up yourself - We also have to look after ourselves emotionally and regularly reveal our feelings. There are a couple of ways how we can achieve this. For example, we can just write them down somewhere. One of the solutions is a diary where you can write down all of the emotions that you are currently feeling. It is also important to express your feelings and emotions when watching a great movie or by having a hobby that is a true passion of yours. Generally any form of visual art will do the trick. Self-expression is equally important as expressing your emotions.

Reserve some time to discover yourself - For a better and higher self-esteem, you should properly and adequately know yourself. You can’t even imagine what great benefits this self-exploration can bring to your life. Explore and find out all about you, and at the same time love all that you find out about the “inner you”. Have a long walk, followed by a relaxing aromatic bath. Listen to some lovely music or simply relax in peace and harmony. You will love yourself better and you will be more relaxed with your batteries fully recharged. As a result you will have better relationships and others will surely notice the higher level of satisfaction and joy in your life.

Spoil yourself - Now is the time to offer yourself some reward. Have a relaxing massage, followed by a manicure and pedicure, or go to a concert of your favorite artist. Prove yourself that you care for your own body and mind and that you are determined to bring happiness into your life. Focusing on yourself and rewarding yourself every now and then with various things will make you understand how good the others feel when you are meeting their needs.

Photo: Ciudadano Poeta

At some stage we all face problems in our relationship. If they go as a far as betraying our spouse, this is a sign that immediate action is required in order to save the relationship. Most of the times we get back on our feet and promise our partner that things will be different this time - that we are changing for the good.

But how can we tell that this change is for real? Is it just a short-term change or will it last? How can we tell that our partner is really changing?

These are some questions that you may keep asking yourself. The following 16 signs will help you to decide if the changes are for real:

1. You notice a different behavior: Inactivity turns into activity, haste turns into calmness, detachment turns into commitment.

2. You will be repeatedly surprised by your partner and might be thinking: “Interesting, this is news for me, but it is just great! I love it, that was an excellent idea”.

3. Your partner is becoming more interested in you and is also actively interested in the evolution of your relationship.

4. You are noticing a major change in your relationship, the rhythm has changed, is not the same anymore, is kind of effortless and without so much stress.

5. The tone of your partner’s voice is changing when he/she is talking to you - it is somehow more affectionate than ever before.

6. All those situations when you feel that you are vulnerable seldom occur and if they do, they are not that intense. Also you now seem to have the ability to go through these times more effectively and rapidly.

7. Your instinct is letting you know that everything is all right. You start to trust your instincts more and more.

8. Your partner seems to have more interests and ideas. Your partner is driven much more by inner needs and desires and not so much by the influence of other people or certain events. He/she is having new passions and hobbies and enjoys his/her job more.

9. The changes appear to be more likely to last. There is more consistency in the relationship, less drifting and it appears that things are more and more on the right path.

10. There is an increased interest for family and good friends.

11. He/she is not saying things like: “I’ll give you my word on…”, “I’ll try…”, “I’m planning to…”.

12. There are no more situations of yelling and crying and other similar things. There are no more excuses and the both of you are doing the best you can to change and improve things.

13. You are not accusing each other anymore. You both agree that you are both responsible for your actions.

14. There is a constant, close and proper eye-contact.

15. Your partner is taking care of his/her well-being, both physically and mentally. You can both express what you need and want and meet halfway. At the same time your own personal desires and needs are also valued.

16. You are no longer worrying that much about the future and what might happen next.

Photo: bored-now

It is no surprise that an affectionate relationship can serve as a constant source of help, passion and pleasure, and we would all prefer to keep such a relationship as long as possible. Therefore, we are making serious efforts to look after it and to make it even better whenever it is possible.

A relationship however can also turn into a constant source of sorrow and agony when the main elements for a happy relationship are totally or partially missing. That is what we call relationship difficulties. If we are having difficulties or facing problems in our relationship, it doesn’t always mean that the relationship is finished.

Some extra effort is required to be able to solve these relationship problems. Some couples are convinced that their problems will suddenly disappear without any effort from their side. They say “sorry” and forgive each other after every fight, but never bother to explore the real motives behind their dispute.

As a result of that, many couples are facing relationship difficulties, some of which are quite easy to solve. However, it is recommended to ask an expert for help, a skilled therapist. A great deal of people are convinced that professional therapy is an excellent way to get their relationship back on its feet.

Professional help also enables couples to see their problems in a new light, often enabling them to find ways to deal with them. Every couple should try to solve their problems the moment they occur and therefore constantly improve their relationship. It is all about trying to find a way to resurrect the love and reignite the flames of passion again.

Relationship problems are part of our daily lives, but what is the cause for these problems? Being affectionate with someone can be a source of satisfaction, comfort and happiness, but at the same time it can also be a source of agony, confusion and desolation. Sometimes we need to be alone and have no desire to be close to others, and might not even want to be close to our loving partner. Without any doubts, this can really damage a relationship.

Unfortunately, we can hardly control this aspect of our relationship as we all have our own difficulties, especially in our jobs. Let’s not forget that there is a big difference between the objectives that we are trying achieve in a job and the ones that we need to achieve in order to maintain a relationship. We should all try to focus on the latter because it will bring us closer to each other and implicitly help us to better deal with our own difficulties.

What are the most common relationship problems? They would be: Reduced communication, almost no ability to face and solve problems, insufficient mutual support and the lack of quality time spent together.

Photo: hubb-a-dubbs

Most of us have been romantically involved with someone, and we know that relationships are all about ups and downs. When it is working out, it is just great and awesome - but when it is not, it is almost like hell.

Being a relationship expert, I have came up with a top 10 list for men and women of what to do and what not to do in a relationship:

MEN

DO

1. Pay attention to your partner, without giving her any advice.

2. Believe in her and value her.

3. Consider her your equal in the relationship.

4. Stand by her whenever she needs you.

5. Treat her like you have treated her in the beginning of your relationship.

6. Little things do make a difference and women really appreciate them.

7. Respect the arrangements that you have made with her.

8. Support her, her ideas and ambitions.

9. Guess what your spouse would love to do and then do it together.

10. Don’t be afraid to apologize when you have done something wrong.

DON’T

1. Go to sleep being mad with your spouse.

2. Offer answers when all she wants from you is some attention.

3. Don’t act as if you were paying attention to her when you were not.

4. Don’t send away your partner when you just need to clear your mind.

5. Pass judgment on to your partner, especially not on how she looks.

6. Shout at your partner as if you were her guardian or something.

7. Take everything seriously. Women sometimes say things they don’t mean.

8. Let jealousy destroy the confidence, affection and respect between you.

9. Invade her personal privacy.

10. Fail to remember the special events.

WOMEN

DO

1. Make the time you spend with your partner as joyful as you can.

2. Believe in him and appreciate him.

3. Don’t harass him.

4. Give him some space and time to spend alone.

5. Value the small things that he does for you.

6. Make love with him imaginatively, dare to take the first step.

7. Respect your common arrangements.

8. Support him, his ideas and ambitions.

9. Make it clear what you really want! He is not a mind reader.

10. Accept his refusal, he is saying NO for a reason.

DON’T

1. Go to sleep being mad with your spouse.

2. Persist that he shares his emotions with you.

3. Try to engage him when he is watching a great match.

4. Point out every irregularity in your relationship.

5. Don’t discourage him.

6. Discipline him as he was a young boy.

7. Use sex as a reward or as a punishment for his behavior.

8. Measure him up to some movie star and point out his flaws.

9. Invade his personal privacy.

10. Try to make him something that he is not.

Men and women are not alike when it comes to communication, wishes and desires. Becoming aware of these differences can help us to create stronger relationships.

Photo: HolyHolySnappers

The words intimacy and relationship are two distinct terms with separate meanings. Nevertheless, they are closely linked together as intimacy is essential for a durable relationship. Intimacy is one of the main ingredients of a relationship that allows a couple to enjoy even more pleasure in exploring each other.

This closeness is like a feeling of familiarity, being highly personal and intimate, including all the things that display affection or a very close and warm friendship. A couple is intimate when they can share even the most private and important things of life with each other, truthfully and without any reticence. Being intimate with your partner means that you are capable of fully exploring and discovering each other.

Distance in a relationship is created if the couple fails to establish and maintain the needed closeness. That is why intimacy is a fundamental element of a relationship right from the beginning. Every person who is in a relationship should be aware of how to create it, as the closeness is responsible for strengthening the emotional bond between couples.

The creation of intimacy requires almost a constant awareness of your partner and of the relationship as well. At the same time you have to value your partner and especially the relationship. In most cases, communication is crucial for creating a sincere and candid environment, while the physical connection is required for the desired intimacy and familiarity.

The closeness in a relationship is a sign of constant attention for your partner, affection and warmth to let your partner know that he/she is considered to be very special. As the affection, warmth and love can also be expressed verbally, they are significant elements that greatly contribute to achieving intimacy and a close and healthy relationship.

As intimacy is all about closeness and being highly personal, it is a prerequisite for you and your partner to be truthful and upright with each other. Acting honestly and sincere all the time has a beneficial effect on the relationship. Even more, accepting your partner just the way he/she is will greatly encourage a mutual appreciation and deep affection.

To achieve the desired closeness, the two persons involved in a relationship should be aware of each other’s family backgrounds. It can be quite important to know your partner’s personality and the environment in which he/she became an adult. It is also essential to be aware of each other’s feelings and thoughts. Making future plans together is a great way to strengthen the connection between you and your partner, and to prepare you to face all problems together as a strong and healthy couple.

Last but not least, it is significant for those who are looking to have intimacy in their relationship to always encourage and praise their partners. It is equally important to compliment each other and to show your appreciation towards your partner in any possible way and occasion. Being intimate with each other and becoming familiar with your partner is all about sharing your inner personality.

The failure to establish and maintain intimacy in a relationship will ultimately lead to coldness and indifference, that will eventually destroy the connection between you and your partner. In a relationship it is absolutely crucial to have intimacy, it is one of the key elements for the passion that will keep the relationship alive for a very long time.

Photo: karpov the wrecked train

You might be surprised, but it’s not your appearance, your wealth, your great job or your fortune that is responsible for a wonderful and everlasting relationship. The key to it lies in your way of thinking. Here are six crucial tips for creating beautiful relationships:

1. A relationship is not a contest or a race! A healthy relationship is about playing in the same team. It is pointless trying to outscore your partner. Of course, you might be the MVP - most valuable player - today or another day. However, you will be all alone, without the support of your “teammate” if you keep doing this, and you will end up racing just against you. Stop this race of yours, be a real team player and try to win the game as a member of the triumphing team!

2. Be open, learn to hear, see and interact. I really enjoy sitting down and having a relaxing chit chat with my partner. We are discussing major issues as well as minor things, sharing our thoughts and ideas when we are interacting with each other. We don’t punish each other with silence, and we are certainly not ending a day with being angry. For a strong relationship, learn to have genuine discussions with your partner.

3. Be aware that a relationship is not about owning your partner. This is most likely the most frequently encountered problem. The things that can really damage a relationship are jealousy and over-protectiveness. Get rid of these feelings - if you have them - or your relationship will not have a happy ending.

4. Paying attention to yourself should be one of your top priorities. The kind of relationship you have with yourself is a crucial one. You have to look after your appearance and your mind every single day. I am talking about self-esteem. If you fail to properly take care of you, the others will neglect you as well. Since you have already proven that you have no confidence in yourself, then who I am to challenge that? Begin with looking after yourself and through this you will have the necessary strength and energy to look after those who you care so much about.

5. Bring back the romance. Being romantic sends the following message: “You are my primary concern, I care deeply about you and your feelings and desires, and I want everything to be perfect for us”. You are also sending a message about you being confident. You might be surprised, but the appreciation that you’ll get for being romantic can be a much higher motivation and incentive than the pleasure and joy that it brings. Be an expert in romance and I can guarantee that it will add color to your life.

6. Learn to accept compromises, but not always and for everything. Relationships are based on finding the middle ground. It is alright to meet halfway every now and then, that’s how life is. Just don’t over-do it. Don’t always be the one making all the compromises as that will break you in pieces and destroy your self-esteem. Find the balance when to give and when to take, as well as when to just abandon the ship.

Photo: Frederic della Faille

Do relationships have some kind of secret that makes some of the work and others not? They might have. It seems that there are people that feel sorry for themselves, without doing anything to change that, and there are others who live their lives dealing with any problems they might encounter. They might have learned these precious secrets from their families or friends.

Here are a couple of tried and tested ideas from those who have experienced healthy and long-lasting relationships:

Remember - Sit back and remember the time when you first met each other. Especially in hard times, try to sit back and recall the old time events and situations that are reconnecting you with each other.

Rendez-vous - Although life is sometimes like a high-speed train, try to spend the evening together. It doesn’t have to be something out of the ordinary, watching a movie together or playing cards or chess will do just fine.

Have fun - Most of us tend to have fun when we are dating and start to get serious once we get married. Forget that! Browse some of the fun websites out there and try out a few online games together. Or borrow a game console along with some games - enjoy them and simply have fun!

Forgive and forget - It is useless to constantly think about all the unpleasant events that happened during a dispute. Let them off your mind then and there. Don’t be shy and be the first to forgive and forget!

Distance - Keep a certain distance between each other. Everyone needs some space and time to spend alone or with friends. Every now and then we need some distance from our partner, make sure that both of you enjoy the same amount of personal freedom.

Argue - There is nothing wrong with disagreeing on certain things. However it is useless to get into flaming discussions. It is just not necessary to agree on everything. Don’t worry, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Things to remember - Enjoy some quality time together, it doesn’t have to be something really sophisticated. You might for example have enjoyed the fireworks the other day. A year later you might want to plan to watch it again.

You can turn this into a habit. Gather articles and photos about fireworks, buy a couple of firecrackers on your own, read about the history of fireworks - who knows, it might turn into a passion.

As a conclusion don’t just simply sit there and feel sorry for yourself. Little things can build a better relationship and the big problems might not seem that big at all. To build a better relationship you have to be aware of what needs to be done and especially how. There is no need to reinvent the wheel, simply implement some of these tried and tested ideas to have a better relationship.

Photo: @ly$ in wonderland

When you are emotionally involved with someone, that relationship can offer you a lot of joy but at the same time grief and agony. At first, everything is like a box of chocolates and we feel like we are living in a dream. Sadly, these emotions fade after time and we can find it difficult to maintain feelings for each other. So what is the secret to sparking those flames of love again? Continue reading as the following 10 tips will help you to reignite the fire of love:

1. Relationship problems can be agony, but they are also a great opportunity for both of you to get rid of the uncertainties in a relationship and to significantly improve it. Behind every question lies an unresolved issue between the two of you that is distancing you even further, but this might be your chance to deal with it.

2. If you feel like you are in agony because of your relationship, you will not get anything out of it if you just distance yourself from your partner. This is exactly the time when you should be closer than ever. The best thing you can do is to get intimate with your love, both physically and affectionately.

3. An important element of improving your relationship is to communicate and tell what you feel and worry about. You should know what your partner really feels. Be truthful and open about your feelings and ask your partner to be as well. Any form of opening up, even non-verbally, is some kind of communication.

4. No person can help you with your emotions if you don’t show them. Your partner can assist you to uncover these bleeding wounds inside you and make them arise to the surface. Be ready to face them, act bravely and get rid of them once and for all. Be ready to make some long due changes.

5. Realize the value of your partner, the strength, the looks and let your partner know how much you appreciate him or her. You have done the exact same thing at the beginning of your relationship, and this is also the future way to go for a healthy relationship. Who said that you can’t see the world through rose-colored glasses?

6. If you feel like your partner disappointed you, or that your partner failed to provide you with something significant in your relationship, try to offer precisely what you are missing. Magic happens and you will get back the very same thing in return.

7. Sex is the ultimate expression of love in every relationship, it is not accidentally referred to as “making love”. Don’t let sex become just a simple physical exercise, but transform it into something full of deep affection and create a flow of love when you are making love while keeping constant eye contact. You might even want to take it to a higher level, transforming sex into a real art of love according to the Tantra philosophy.

8. If you had a fight, don’t be afraid to ask for forgiveness for your inappropriate behavior and be aware that your partner might also feel bad about it. Be the first to forgive and forget. Have a discussion about the dispute and the reasons behind it.

9. If you are a religious person and you are experiencing some major relationship problems, pray for divine help and assistance. Most likely you will be guided on the proper path to handle the situation and to deal with the sad event. If you are not a religious person, simply follow your instincts and listen to your sensitive mind.

10. Very often the cause of failure in a relationship is that the partners feel disconnected. In a relationship we get exactly what we give. What did you offer to your partner lately without seeking anything in return? Be generous to your partner and you will be amazed by the flow of love and tenderness of your reborn relationship.