Photo: Elliott les yeux grand fermés

What is the secret to a long lasting relationship? This surely is one of the most frequently asked questions. The secret to a durable and successful relationship consists of several small things that we tend to forget or consider to be insignificant. Continue reading for some useful ideas on how to maintain a durable relationship.

1. One of the keys to a long-lasting relationship is to spend some quality time with each other. It is preferable to have a minimum of 30 minutes a night and an entire day a month that you spend just with each other.

2. The last thing that you want in a relationship is to feel vulnerable. In a healthy relationship the partners accept compromises and don’t make each other feel bad if they have a different opinion on something.

3. It is quite common that the things you initially loved in partner can irritate you later on. Find a way to find your partner irresistible, including all the habits that he/she might have. Don’t try to change your partner - after all the habits that now irritate you were part of the reason why you fell in love with your partner.

4. Money is very often the main reason for disputes in a relationship. In order to have a good relationship it is wise to properly deal with your financial situation and even keep a book about your financial spending.

5. Find a way to adequately handle disputes. Be careful with the words that you choose, as you might be reminded about the things that you’ve said later on. Keep in mind that disputes should only have one outcome: To forgive and forget after the fight.

6. Another crucial element of a working relationship is communication. Pay attention to your partner and try not to accuse and judge him/her. Don’t be driven by your emotions, it will not do you any good. Truthful and sincere discussions are the key to a better understanding of the two of you.

7. Deal with the sex problems that you might experience over time, don’t disregard them. Discuss them with your partner as they arise and try to find a way to reignite the flames of love. One of you might like to have sex more than the other! You could try out new things in bed like role plays, dress up in appealing clothes or even have sex in other locations.

8. Maintain a healthy balance between the relationship commitment and your personal freedom. Let your partner know that this personal freedom is important to you, but do not mention it all the time as this can send the wrong signals. Make sure that your partner knows, that by doing things alone or going out by yourself you are not implying that you don’t need your partner.

9. Find a way to forgive and forget. If you find that this is impossible for you, and you are absolutely sure that the trust is gone forever, then let your partner go and have a fresh start with someone else.

10. That fact that you are going to relationship counseling doesn’t mean that your relationship is not working anymore. Such therapy can be a huge benefit for your relationship and considerably improve it. It is a clear sign that you are both really wanting to make your relationship work.

Regardless of whether you are married or just dating, all commitments are equally important and require full devotion from sides. It is a well proven fact that strong and durable relationships are possible. Nobody is saying that everything will always be right, however if you are both committed, the relationship will work. Keep in mind, that most of the time the small things are the important ones, and they will help you enjoy and maintain a long-lasting relationship.

Photo: Rahxy

“I love you” - These are three simple words that can really hit you if they are properly used.

The truth is that some people find it extremely hard to say these words. Some beat around the bush for a while before they will eventually say them. Then there are those who frequently use these words without truly meaning it. In the end it doesn’t really make a difference if you say the magic words or not, what is really important is that the relationship is based on honesty and joy.

So what makes a relationship work and last? There are a three aspects that form the foundation of relationships and make them work (and last), regardless of whether it is between lovers, relatives, colleagues or business associates. When one of these aspects is not in place, the foundation of the relationship will tumble.

The three aspects are called “The Relationship Tripod”. Let’s talk about them for a bit.

The Companionship Aspect

You are certainly well aware that a relationship requires two people in order to be called a relationship. You must have a connection with the other person and enjoy each other’s presence. This is the essence for a long-lasting relationship. It doesn’t make sense to just be together without connecting with each other.

The lack of interest for each other will result in the failure of the relationship. Your partner needs to be aware of how you feel. Show some kindness and warmth, something that truly expresses your love. Regardless of who is giving you affection, you have to give the other person something in return. We all have to play our roles in a relationship, it is a constant give and take.

The Compromise Aspect

As stated above, a relationship is based on constantly giving and taking. We are not all alike, even if two people seem to be strikingly similar, there are probably a few minor differences that might be enough to start a debate about them. You must be a able to settle a dispute, no matter what it is all about, even if this means that you’ll eventually have to give in. Someone has to “win” and someone has to “lose”. It’s that simple and that is why it is crucial to talk about these differences.

But what is the nature of these differences? And who should give in to solve the problems and disputes that they cause? Giving in every now and then doesn’t mean that you are a loser, instead it can be a sign of how significant the relationship is for you. The simple words “You seem to be right” can be very relieving for yourself and for the relationship!

The Communication Aspect

Simply put, when there is no communication, there is no talk about differences, no signs of love and no words to be said. Communication enables us to say the right words at the right time. The first two aspects would not exist if the last one wasn’t there. A slight improvement in communication can greatly contribute to having a better relationship.

There are many simple and small things that can be done to improve the communication, a short letter or a quick email every now and then will do the trick. Don’t overlook the aspect of communication as many relationships drift apart due to the lack of contact between the partners.

Let’s take the case of a long distance relationship as an example. Some of them fail and some of them are success stories, and this is only because of the partner’s contact with each other. Don’t forget that even business partners are maintaining close contact by sending out reports and updates to each other.

Relationships are full of surprises, some of them are pleasant and some of them are not. But that’s how life is, unpredictable and exciting. That’s the beauty of it, to discover life one step at a time. If you are looking for an easy way to make a relationship work and last, you will be disappointed, because there is no such thing. Effort and work is required from everyone who is involved in it.

Photo: nattu

Some people, particularly women, are inclined to ignore their own desires and consider the needs of others to be far more important. We ignore our needs to take care of the ones we love. We fail to understand the significance of being a little bit selfish and thinking about ourselves first. As a matter of fact, we can’t efficiently fulfill someone else’s needs if there is something wrong with our own life. Don’t forget that by caring for yourself you are also well on your way to have better relationships.

Spending the majority of the days ignoring our fundamental needs will soon get back to us and make us feel worn out and weak, unable to properly take care of ourselves. As we reach the conclusion that our needs are not fulfilled, we get bitter, and in the end we will not continue to be helpful and supportive to others as we were before. What we need to do is make ourselves a top priority, this can refill us with energy and power, which we can then pass on to and share with others.

It is not a hard job to properly take care of ourselves, if we consider the upcoming guidelines and tips. When we are satisfied with the amount of care that we direct to ourselves, we will have an excess of power and energy that enables us to fulfill the needs of those who are part of our lives. It is a win-win situation, as long as we are capable of loving ourselves.

Have a healthy life - Are you serious about changing the world, but you can’t even fulfill your own fundamental needs? Have a well balanced diet, get rid of all the junk food, replace it with healthy food and do not forget to consume plenty of water. Provide your body the possibility to burn all the fat through the energy that you accumulate with regular workouts, hence improving your metabolism. It is also important to get your fair share of sleep as we do not perform as well if we are constantly tired and our batteries are low on energy.

Open up yourself - We also have to look after ourselves emotionally and regularly reveal our feelings. There are a couple of ways how we can achieve this. For example, we can just write them down somewhere. One of the solutions is a diary where you can write down all of the emotions that you are currently feeling. It is also important to express your feelings and emotions when watching a great movie or by having a hobby that is a true passion of yours. Generally any form of visual art will do the trick. Self-expression is equally important as expressing your emotions.

Reserve some time to discover yourself - For a better and higher self-esteem, you should properly and adequately know yourself. You can’t even imagine what great benefits this self-exploration can bring to your life. Explore and find out all about you, and at the same time love all that you find out about the “inner you”. Have a long walk, followed by a relaxing aromatic bath. Listen to some lovely music or simply relax in peace and harmony. You will love yourself better and you will be more relaxed with your batteries fully recharged. As a result you will have better relationships and others will surely notice the higher level of satisfaction and joy in your life.

Spoil yourself - Now is the time to offer yourself some reward. Have a relaxing massage, followed by a manicure and pedicure, or go to a concert of your favorite artist. Prove yourself that you care for your own body and mind and that you are determined to bring happiness into your life. Focusing on yourself and rewarding yourself every now and then with various things will make you understand how good the others feel when you are meeting their needs.